Whether we like it or not the thing that is really keeping us from reaching our full potential as female entrepreneurs is not what’s happening externally to us, husband, kids, websites, products, funding.. – it’s actually the US!
We are what’s holding us back by buying into our own limiting beliefs.
So what is a limiting belief? It’s thoughts or stories we tell ourselves that are not supporting us in our quest to achieve whatever success means to us.We create our beliefs through what we were taught consciously and unconsciously by our parents, through social norms and our own experiences.
For most these beliefs were not made consciously. The good news is though that all beliefs are changeable when we bring them to our conscious awareness. We basically make them up, so why not make them into something that serves you instead of holding you back?
I wanted to share with you today 5 limiting beliefs that I commonly come across when working with female entrepreneurs so that you can consciously begin to change those that are true for you.
1. What if I succeed and don’t like it?
Although many people think that it’s only a fear of failure that holds us back, fear of success can also hinder us just as often.
Here are just a few of the ways fear of success can play out for us:
- Being fearful of the unknown quantity that is a success.
- Fear of not being able to handle the success if you get it and messing it up.
- Fear that your friends and family might not like you when you are successful
- Afraid that you won’t have time for other things in your life that you value.
- Fear that we’ll be judged.
2. People hate being sold to
If like most people you have experienced being on the receiving end of an icky salesperson who is only interested in making a sale at any cost, whether you need their item or not, then it’s easy to see why you might believe that people hate being sold to. It feels gross and the salesperson comes across as being pushy and untrustworthy.
The truth is though is that people only hate being sold to badly.
If you think about it, have you ever had a great buying experience where you have been listening to, helped and guided whilst knowing that the person selling genuinely has your best interest at heart?
That’s what sales is really all about. Sales are simply about exploring what the client’s problems are and then seeing if what you have is a good fit to solve it. If it is you do business together if it isn’t then you don’t.
3. If they say no I won’t be able to handle it
Many people have an innate fear of rejection, so much so that it can paralyze them from putting themselves into a situation where no might happen.
It’s inevitable that you will get no’s in business, in fact, if you are successful you will have heard a whole load of no’s.
It’s what you make those no’s mean that’s important. No doesn’t have to mean that they reject you or that you are no good, here are a few things that no could mean instead that you could try on:
- No means they are not ready right now.
- Every no I get takes me closer to a yes.
- No means they don’t have enough information to decide quite yet.
- Most people won’t say yes until they’ve come up with some kind of no first.
4. I can’t let others see I haven’t got it all together
How often do you find yourself being asked by someone “how’s business?” and you hear yourself replying, “it’s going really well thanks” when really it’s going anything but well?
When we only allow other people to see that everything is perfect we miss out on the opportunity to reach out for the help and support we so desperately need.
Women often believe that they need to be seen as having it all together, the perfect business, perfect children, perfect marriage, perfect life; they want others to believe that they can do it all.
Well, what if we can’t? What if we need to reach out for help and that thinly veiled façade of perfection we’re hanging desperately on to like some kind of security blanket, is stopping us from reaching our shining, amazing potential?
We are all only human after all; no one has it all together. No one!
5. I have to keep everyone else happy before me
Women are born nurtures and the belief that they are there to look after others first can be strong. But often this happens at great expense to them when they continually put their needs to the bottom of a very big pile.
This can play out in their personal lives in terms of their partners, family, and friends. It can also spill into their businesses where they are taking care of their staff, clients, suppliers, business partner…
They’ll pay their staff first, give clients discounts when they don’t think they can afford it, tie themselves up in knots trying to please difficult customers, agree to do work over the weekend when they don’t want to and so the list goes on.
When we are listening to the safety demonstration on an aircraft they tell us that in the case of an emergency, when the oxygen masks fall down, it’s important to remember to put yours on first before helping others. In order to look after others, we must first look after us.
